I read someone’s tweet last night,
It was something like this:
“That you sleep next to someone for years and then one day you can’t anymore?”
The author said, he can never understand how that works and honestly even I can’t.

Everyday, I look at people falling in and out of love.
Falling in, it’s a wonderful part but
when they fall out, it breaks my heart every now and then.

Everyday, I look at them and believe in love lesser and less.

Last night, you asked me the same,
I didn’t have any answer for you;
because  I thought there won’t be possibility of one.

If you have to know,
know this.
Everytime, I look at you;
you are little less strange than ever.

And if I could find million reason to love you when I wasn’t looking for one;
guess how much could I find, if I want you to stay.

– Abirami Pillai


A Place Inside you

If there is place inside you,
where there exist no chaos,
no assumptions, no expectations
Just little bit dreams,
lot of laughter,
serene silence every now and then.

If there is place like that inside you;
keep me there because I wouldn’t be safe anywhere else.

-Abirami Pillai

Image sources :- Deviantart





I sometimes wonder
who is greatest teacher,
‘Life’ or ‘Death’?
And then I realize,
neither of them because
what matters most is
‘Are you willing to learn?’

-Abirami Pillai



You can chase your whole life behind reasons,
person or hell with whatever you want.
And you will try to hold on to things forever but
it is still gonna pass like sand from your hand,
like it always does.

At the end, you will come to accept that,
Life is nothing like poetry.
There is nothing poetic about missing someone.
You can’t find art when you are alone.
It hurts every damn to even breathe but even on those moments,
if you can hold on to hope;
maybe you win right there.
– Abirami Pillai

What are you ?

Tell me, what you are ?
And I will leave you in a sigh.

I hope you aren’t love.
Because love,
On some days you are my salvation
And on other days you are nothing more than nemesis.
– Abirami Pillai


We thrive on sadness,
and mastered the art of pretending to be okay.
Somehow, someday we will be more then fine;
until then see us smiling and thriving.

– Abirami Pillai

Things that doesn’t hurt!

I remember once what I said to someone, probably some friend “For me, my books, movies and my playlists are important than any other human being in the world”.
Pretty shitty thing to say to someone who considered you as important? I regret saying it but that’s the truth for me.

I started reading books (not textbooks but story books, novels, magazines, sometimes chocolate wrappers too.) when I was very young probably after fifth grade itself. I used to read self-care books long before I was matured. FYI, I don’t read romantic novels. I don’t remember I read any of them at all just one twilight – first book of the series, two day before my English board exams. I remember every one of my classmates crammed up with all academic books and I used to read Stephenie’s Meyer best seller, I guess. (One more information, I don’t find Edward or Bella cute or vampires cute. I just read it, because it felt good to read it.)
Movies, what should I say about them. The more I watch them, the more I want to watch. Not the stupid masala movies, which has meaningless songs, jokes and has no sense. I remember watching Con-Air before I was promoted to secondary school. Lame, I guess but I loved it. There are more than 100 favourite movies of mine and I am sure there are more to come.
Music, another word for paradise, heaven or magic. Whatever you say, it never confine what music does to human being. For me, it was another world I can get lost into and never return back. If you want to hear music which you never heard of, ask me. In my summer vacations, finding new artist, new songs was one thing I used to look up more than anything.

So ya, for me my books, movies and my playlists are important than any other human being in the world. That is greatest truth for me because I never once felt some outsider when I used to read, watch or listen them. It’s like different feeling for someone who never fit in anywhere, who never belonged anywhere to be found by something and embracing what you really are.
P.S I was reading a book while I was posting this.