Modern Love

Modern love is the number of the text messages
I receive from you, they say.
If that is somewhat true then
our love exist between the range of hundred to two hundred.

Because that’s the message
we send and receive even on tired Thursday night.

I wish they said love existed
in the response time of text received
because while it took  me whole five minute
to type the message in a crowded train with no space,
yet it took only three seconds  for you to read
another milli-fraction send for you to respond.

In that way our love would have been better than theirs

I wish it never existed in the lines I see in your face every day but
in the shivers to pronounce your name with right syllable.

In that way I could have been better lover than anyone was ever was.

– Abirami Pilai

pic source -dribble


Drifting Travellers

On a  summer around half past midnight
as we stand by the highway nearby our home

We watch the drifting cars, motorcycles, trucks
with lights flashing  back and front.

I wonder where they were heading to at night ?
Don’t they miss their homes?
What about the lovers they are leaving back ?

These questions make me drift away
And I asked you the same questions

To which you replied something like this
“I don’t know nor I supposedly wish to know the answers too.
Sometimes, the answers don’t matter, nor the questions.
I understand what you are trying but it’s of no use
Life intends to take us where we’ve to be, I hope you go there.
and if I have to meet you again, I guess I will try to find you in some other life, another universe
where my smiles lit your sky and your freckles brightens my day.”

These words stayed somewhere in my bones  till today.
Somehow every stranger I speak to has a smile just like you
and somehow it brightens my day.

– Abirami Pillai

Fitting In

Centuries of untold stories bear inside you.
Yes, hear me again.

There exist centuries of untold stories inside you,
like the day you were born, how it was a perfect
and how your family rejoiced with your cries.

The scrape and bruises you got on your first sports day.
Your favourite album, songs, books, quotes
always residing in your heart from
the moment you’ve discovered them.

Why do you believe in God? Or Why you don’t?
The conversation you had with a stranger at 4 a.m.
on a random night and how it was nothing more than miraculous.

The struggles, the hardships, the downs and ups of your life
and how bravely you fought them.
Here you are with a medal on your chest
with no applause by your side.

The traces on your palm, your crooked smile, your freckles,
your scars which makes you more beautiful than ever.

Centuries of all these stories bear inside you,
and here I am watching,
Trying to fit yourself in 150 characters of Instagram bio.

Be better, babe!
-Abirami Pillai

If only they knew

If only they knew dreams are harder to carry than regrets.
If only they knew fatherhood is as hard as motherhood.
If only they knew how hard it takes  for non-believer to believe in God
And those who believe, hardly pray anymore.
If only they knew that the loudest screams are somehow unheard too.
If only they knew the one who stands out tries so hard to fit in.
If only they knew that humans are capable of destroying anything, anytime
but still can’t save what we love.
If only they knew how ugly death can be.
If only they knew life is ephemeral and it isn’t definitely perpetual.
If only they knew this, if only

“The world would have been better than what it is today.”
– Abirami Pillai


There are things I can’t comprehend,
I scream them and ask to you;
“Why does my dream feels like a north star on a dark night?”
“The people I love seem far away, like a lighthouse in stormy sea.”

And then you silently whisper into my ears
“That’s how the Seafarer found his way to home, isn’t it ?”

-Abirami Pillai

Conveying Love

Conveying Love

Sometimes, it astonishes me
the way you convey “I love you”
without saying those words.

Like the extra juice can you bought for me;
when I clearly didn’t ask for one.

Putting on my favorite TV channels
even though the remote is yours tonight.

Giving up your sleep because I can’t sleep.

The pauses you take before,
you spilt harsh truth before me.

How I keep humming the song you hate,
yet you never cringe!

Even after years, you look at me like
I am the only thing you ever saw.

Love, sometimes it astonishes me,
the way you convey your love
Without confessing ” I love you.”

Can there be any better way than this
to profess their love, for someone?
‘ I don’t know, love; I’m still searching.’

– Abirami Pillai