2 : 41 a.m.

I look you with an awe,  
how lovely you wrap  
the sadness around you.  
You greet it, cry with it, sing with it  
and talk about all your childhood memories with it.  
I just wished you had same  
strength to wrap happiness too.
– Abirami Pillai 
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If only they knew

If only they knew dreams are harder to carry than regrets.
If only they knew fatherhood is as hard as motherhood.
If only they knew how hard it takes  for non-believer to believe in God
And those who believe, hardly pray anymore.
If only they knew that the loudest screams are somehow unheard too.
If only they knew the one who stands out tries so hard to fit in.
If only they knew that humans are capable of destroying anything, anytime
but still can’t save what we love.
If only they knew how ugly death can be.
If only they knew life is ephemeral and it isn’t definitely perpetual.
If only they knew this, if only

“The world would have been better than what it is today.”
– Abirami Pillai

Conveying Love

Conveying Love

Sometimes, it astonishes me
the way you convey “I love you”
without saying those words.

Like the extra juice can you bought for me;
when I clearly didn’t ask for one.

Putting on my favorite TV channels
even though the remote is yours tonight.

Giving up your sleep because I can’t sleep.

The pauses you take before,
you spilt harsh truth before me.

How I keep humming the song you hate,
yet you never cringe!

Even after years, you look at me like
I am the only thing you ever saw.

Love, sometimes it astonishes me,
the way you convey your love
Without confessing ” I love you.”

Can there be any better way than this
to profess their love, for someone?
‘ I don’t know, love; I’m still searching.’

– Abirami Pillai


Last night while returning home;
I saw a girl crying over the staircase.
I pretended to overlook her even though,
I could see her as clear as crystal.

She was mourning over the phone, I guess.
I think she lost something or someone.

This morning while commuting to work;
I stumbled upon a beggar; he asked for alms.
He was pale and starving.
His throat was parched for clean water.

I overlooked him too;
not because I  wanted to,
but I hardly had any money on me.

As a child I used to notice everything
but as a grown up adult , now I don’t notice things.
I always overlook them, intentionally.

What good is to notice things but never able to fix them?
– Abirami Pillai

Image by Mattdixon.co.uk


On a stranding winter cold night,
You stand below thousand of stars,
And beside you is little fire to keep you enough war.

Coldplay’s Sky full of stars is playing in background.
You don’t think about past anymore;
You don’t think about future too.

You just stand there and somehow you just know,
this is what you’ve been looking your whole life.
‘Tiny Infinite Moments’.

And that day, you don’t write poetry or scribble anything.
You, yourself become one.

-Abirami Pillai

The Clarinet Man

The Clarinet man sings to me.
It goes something like this,

“Don’t try to hold things, that will leave.
Be in the moment and it will it all flow through you.”

The Clarinet man sings to me,
I sing back to him.
“I’ll try.”

– Abirami Pillai

P.S. The Clarinet Man is new statue piece that lies on my table.



On nights like these,
when you question everything you held on to.
I hope these words I write, finds you.
It finds you and embraces all of you and yourself.
That it’s okay to believe in something that might or might not exist.
But it is very important that you still ‘BELIEVE’

– Abirami Pillai