On nights like these,
when you question everything you held on to.
I hope these words I write, finds you.
It finds you and embraces all of you and yourself.
That it’s okay to believe in something that might or might not exist.
But it is very important that you still ‘BELIEVE’

– Abirami Pillai




Maybe we are never supposed to know;
some infinities are remained to be unsolved.
Love will be always one of them.
-Abirami Pillai




To all the almosts of my life

To all the friendships I almost made

To all the words I almost said

To all the books I almost read

To all the movies I almost watched

To all the music I almost listened

To all the poems I almost wrote

To all the coffee dates I almost went

To all the places I almost visited

To all the goodbyes I almost said

To the stranger whom I almost fell in love with

To all the almost “I love yous”,

To all the almosts of my life

Just know that you are momentous to me; now & Forever.

–          Abirami Pillai





Did your mind finally accepted the fact that your heart still longs for me in the night or is it still denying just like old days?

When your heart screamed from top of its voice to you and whereas your mouth didn’t mumbled a single thing?

It’s true that your heart found an impeccable calm in this disastrous storm and it didn’t wanted it to stop;

Maybe that’s why it didn’t wanted to say anything.

And your brain kept shrieking  all the things you never wanted to hear.

Moreover you even started to believe it all and you denied the love until the end.

But your heart knows that aint true; because eyes never lie, or do they?

You didn’t think there existed a heart inside you until fell in love or did you?

– Abirami Pillai

Desolation Times

Times Of Desolation

i.  Where were you on days I was trying so hard to breathe and slept crying all night?

Wasn’t my love supposed to succour me and tell ‘It’s okay’?

ii.  Where were you when I had an accident and my body was covered up with plasters and bandages?

Shouldn’t you be present there to caress my scars and say “You still look beautiful”?

iii.  Where were you when my only dream got shattered into pieces and my faith got devastated?

I thought you would run and come up to me and say “It’s just matter of time, baby.”

iv.  Where were you when everyone around me made my world little bit more alone and sad?

Wasn’t you supposed to be some kind of Superman and rescue me away to another universe?

Then I realized, when was I ever present there to ease you in your times of desolation?

I am too selfish to ask for you to be present in mine, aren’t I?
-Abirami Pillai

Passion Of An Old Soul

I am not like other people believe me, I am not ;

I don’t have much but even if I had all the things, I won’t brag about it;

All I do have is my soul and it is alive.

You see my soul, it wants something else.

Something more than meaningless conversation.

It needs something more than temporary people

It aches for something real and my soul is and always have been old school.

It also knows time changes and people have to change with it but it doesn’t believe in modern love values.

It aches for something passionate that would kill me but also make me feel alive at a same time.

My soul doesn’t settles for ordinary things that’s why every night I stay awake lonely and try to make sense  of all the things in my head, heart , people and sometimes universe.

At times my soul believes there exists people:

Who would love a mixtape from someone,

Who would prefer letters instead of text messages,

Who would love to run on empty beaches barefoot,

Who are little more alive at rather than in daylight,

Who would gaze at stars hopelessly to fall in love with someone, someday,

Who would sing their heart tune even if there is nothing cheerful to sing about,

Who would die for you.

My soul still believes that this kind of people do exist;

And if I keep looking for eventually I will find them or more better I will become like them.

You see these kind of people make the world more alive;

These kind of people make more sense to me,

People who come and show to you that even the stars can be counted.

And the only ones worth dying for.